Saturday, January 21, 2017

Does He Go Silent to Punish You?



One of the MOs of a seasoned narcissist is to deal his anger by utilizing the “Silent Treatment”. It is a passive -aggressive tool used to disarm the other person and leave them feeling uncertain of where they stand in the relationship,  as well as insecure and bewildered.

Shunning is also common, as is pulling away and staying away for days or even weeks at a time, and then resurfacing as if nothing has happened.

Know that if your boyfriend suddenly stops calling and texting and is not responding to your calls and texts, that you are being shunned, and will just have to wait it out until his mood subsides and he has decided that he has punished you enough. You may feel that this means the relationship  is over, but honey, that’s not the case at all! It aint over until he says its over! He is simply teaching you a lesson. 

The lesson is that if you question or criticize his behaviors, you will be placed into the deep freeze.

Get it?

A narcissist loves to employ this tactic. It enables him to feel powerful and in control. It enables him to feel that he is exacting punishment for whatever “crime” he feels you have perpetrated against him.

Have you dared to disagree with him?
Have you contradicted him?
Have you refused to comply with a request he made of you or criticized him for something you felt he did which hurt or betrayed you and /or the relationship?

If your guy is a narcissist then don’t expect to have a mature adult discussion about your issues. Know that a narcissist will feel threatened by any manifestation of power over him, in the form of a complaint or a questioning of his behaviors and motives, and he will often fight back, to regain his sense of control, by utilizing the silent treatment.


Needless to say, the silent treatment is a major RED FLAG and nobody should have to put up with this controlling and dysfunctional behavior.

Note to self: If he is shunning- GO Running!
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