What defines the pursuit of a man?
Do you realize that you may inadvertently be pursuing your
guy and not even know it?
A man by nature is a Hunter/Gatherer!
He is wired to go out
there and procure what he needs and wants.
A woman by nature is wired to receive, and to make something
out of what he brings to her.
This is not culture, it is DNA, and it doesn’t change
with the times.
The fact is that a man actually enjoys the challenge of
winning over a woman’s heart, and is bored if there she is too easy to catch!
We all value what we have to work hard to get, much more than
that which comes easy to us.
If we save up for an expensive sweater we have had our eye
on and then shell out several hundred dollars for it, we treasure and enjoy it!
We carefully fold it and place in on our shelf, taking care not to squish it or
wrinkle it up. When we put it on we feel proud that we have such a beautiful sweater to wear. But, if we got that sweater at a big discount for $25, we may
toss it around and not care if it winds up on the closet floor!
Human nature is such that we preserve and take care of
anything that we have to sacrifice to have.
That may be to work hard, make time
for, give up something for, etc.
Whatever we have to sacrifice in order to possess,
is deemed valuable.
Whatever comes to us too easily is not valued.
So too with relationships and men in particular.
If you are always available, or initiating texts, phone calls, making plans, making suggestions
for dates, or arranging to “bump into” your guy, know that these are all pursuit
behaviors and he perceives them as such.
He may date you for a while especially
if he is bored and lonely, but chances are that he will not commit to you.
I know a couple who lived together for years…. She followed
him to Tokyo where he lived and worked for business, and she patiently waited
years for him to pop the question while she gave up living near her family and friends and she gave up her vibrant career.
Although she told me that "a piece of paper did not
make a difference", when at one point she thought that the proposal was looming
she was very happy and excited to think that finally they would be getting married.
The proposal never came.
Instead he took her to California, bought her a car
and an apartment and dumped her there. Then he met and quickly married another women (who wouldn’t dream of
shacking up with a man before marriage.)
Let him do the work of pursuing you!
When he succeeds in
pursuing you and winning you over, then he will treasure you and put you on a
pedestal. He will make the commitment to you because he had to work to win you over and he will never let you go!
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