If your boyfriend is constantly finding faults in you now
that the initial honeymoon phase is over, then he has a problem.
His problem is
that he has deep seated insecurities which can only be mollified by putting
others down, and /or by controlling them.
If he can make you feel a bit off
balance, unsure of yourself, flawed, then inside he feels a sense of power.
Even if you take a more laid - back feminine energy role in the relationship,
allowing him to take charge, it won’t be enough to shore up his weak ego. He
thrives only when he feels superior.
Maybe he is a messy guy, leaving socks and underwear on the
floor. Maybe he is forgetful, always
misplacing his keys, phone, wallet, or maybe he is bad at sports, or moody. You
don’t criticize him because you love him despite these flaws. You overlook his flaws and you focus on his
positive attributes because you love and appreciate him.
But, does your boyfriend put you down?
Does your boyfriend criticize you?
The emotionally unhealthy male may be inclined to bring you down with his criticisms.
He may
roll his eyes at you, (which by the way studies have shown that partners who
roll their eyes at each other will most probably get divorced, because the eye
roll is a sign of disdain for another person), or take issue with any little mistake or flaw he perceives
in you:
You spoke to him while he was on the phone? Inconsiderate!
You left dirty dishes in the sink overnight? Lazy!
You knocked over his antique salt shaker? Clumsy!
You bought an expensive gift for someone? Money waster!
Etc..
This picking on you is a simple device which places him in
control. You now have to work harder to please him.
Him being in control gives
him a sense of safety and power.
Why does he need this sense of safety and power? Because he
is a damaged individual.
A healthy, normal, balanced ego, does not benefit by
criticizing others.
Please realize that you deserve to be with someone who
praises and appreciates you despite your flaws.
RED FLAG! If he is a finder
of fault, take a pole and VAULT!
Sprint away now and save yourself from becoming broken down
and bitter.
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