Tuesday, December 4, 2018

MOVE ON from MR. WRONG!





If you have ever gotten sucked into a toxic GO-NOWHERE  relationship, unable to see it for what it really was due to the blinders permanently stuck over your eyes – this Blogs for you!

Have you loved a man who didn’t deserve that love? 
Who was unable to reciprocate it? 
Who was unavailable emotionally or practically because he was married?

Have you allowed yourself to be strung along ad infinitum hoping that eventually things would change and he would wake up and see you as the love of his life and jump through hoops to make you his?

When a woman finds herself loving a man who is undeserving of that love she must take two quick actions:

Seek therapeutic help
Get the hell out of the relationship

It is urgent that you not waste a single moment more on a dead end relationship.

What you see is what you get and if you are not getting the love, attention, commitment and investment that you deserve, then you must force yourself to see reality.

Wasting the preciously few days, weeks, months and years that you are still a young and attractive hottie on a man who can and will never be your Mr. Right,  is the wrongest move you can make!

The right man will devote time and attention to winning your heart.
The right man will sacrifice to have you.
He will invest in you.
 He will walk proudly with you and be proud to call you his woman.
He will shower you with love and affection.

In short he will work hard to make you his because he values you.

That’s how you recognize Mr. Right!

Now go for it!


Sunday, September 16, 2018

Do You Let Him Know You Like Him? Not So Much!




Here’s a question I keep getting FROM MY READERS:

 HOW DO I LET HIM KNOW THAT I LIKE HIM?

My first answer is: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?

If there is a guy in your orbit that you are attracted to, and interested in, but he hasn’t displayed any interest in you at all, then guess what?

 HE IS NOT INTO YOU.

If he was into you, you would know it, trust me.

I am not a believer in letting a guy know that you are interested in him, because I believe doing that will have the opposite of the desired effect.

It most probably will push him away.

A man is wired from time immemorial to hunt and gather
To go out and get what he wants and needs.

If a female takes on the role of stalking her prey, by going after a man, it kind of takes the wind out of his sales!
 It does not entice him.
 It does not excite him.

Even knowing all of this, the readers of my Red Flag Man Blog still want to know:
 “Yeah but how can I let him know I like him?”

If you want to indirectly indicate to a guy that you are into him, that you are open to his approaching you, then my suggestion is to make eye contact with him, give a small, mysterious little smile (think Mona Lisa), and then lower your glance and look away.

This method delivers your message while keeping you classy and alluring.

 It invites him to do the work of pursuing you, based on that one tiny little, but unmistakable hint.

Do this only ONE TIME. 

That’s it.

 He now has received and processed the message that you like him.

But please, please, don’t do anything more than that!!
Don’t hand him your number.
Don’t stalk him.
Do not “accidentally” on purpose run into him!

Project to him and to the world that you are high value.
Your attention is in demand.
You don’t have time for just anybody and everybody because you are busy, discerning,  and you have high standards.

You are around him because you work or go to school together, but you are not necessarily available to him.

If you have already made the mistake of flirting with him, trying to make conversation with him, or God forbid, asking him out, then STOP immediately, back off and ignore him!

He will have to do the work to get your attention and to find out if you will accept him in your life.

At school or in the work place, just be your usual cute, warm, smiley self.
It really is enough.

Let me know how it's working!
I always answer!

Sunday, August 12, 2018

What to Do if You get Downgraded to FRIEND?


Any time a man changes your status from lover to friend, its time to get yourself OUT of the relationship pronto!

Remember, this is a rejection of you as someone he is sexually attracted to!
 It is a down grade of your relationship status and it is an insult.

Why would you hang on and accept this?

Women must at all times project self worth.

By accepting whatever terms he says he wants, just to cling to a man at some level, any level, communicates the message that you are desperate to be connected to him, and will settle for whatever relationship crumbs he has to offer you.

If you are looking for an exclusive monogamous loving relationship, then you must keep that goal in sight at all times and do not accept or waste time on anything that does not match up to that goal.

You do not have to exhaust your limited emotional energy reserves, by engaging in “friend” interactions with a man with whom you have had, or want to have, a romantic loving relationship with, but who does not at present want that with you any more. This is a drain on the energy needed to focus on getting out there, looking and feeling your best, and connecting with men who ARE interested in you romantically.

Do NOT waste time analyzing his inner thoughts and motives and trying to project what possible beneficial outcome might ultimately result by staying friends with a man that you love and want more with.

In fact, the one and only motivation for such a man to re- kindle his lost sexual attraction to you, is for him to feel that he may lose you

If  and when he realizes that you have moved on, and that other men are interested in you, a sense of urgency may kick in, and he might just reevaluate his feelings towards you.

In general, a woman who hangs around waiting and hoping for friendly feelings to morph into romantic feelings, is wasting her valuable time.

Any woman who is with a man who is dragging his feet about commitment, month after month, year after year, is also wasting her time, big time!

The hunter/ gatherer instinct that each and every male possesses in his DNA from time immemorial, is lulled into complacency by that which is easy to come by.
 The male wants and needs a challenge. 

The male wants and needs to work for his target (you).
 He enjoys his reward only if he has had to strive to achieve it!

It is the elusive Doe peeking from behind the bramble that gets his attention, and not the road kill lying there for the taking on his street!

You want your man to feel a sense of urgency! 
You want him to feel that you are valuable and desirable, and that if he doesn’t step up his game, then you will be snapped up by some other lucky dude.

So please don’t serve yourself up on a platter to any man by being overly available, accepting terms for a relationship that don’t suit you, accepting any bad or thoughtless behaviors, or accepting no commitment from him if at least 6 months has elapsed since you began dating.

Listen to his words
If he tells you he is not ready or that he wants to be friends, get your game on, and get out of there! 


Throw a smile on your face, (you may have to “Fake it till you make it”) and make yourself available to the many worthy loving men out there in the world just waiting to meet you.

Follow me and ask questions here or on Tumblr:
https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard


Wednesday, July 18, 2018

To SEND Raunchy Pics or NOT to Send? That is the Question


Lately I have received emails from women wondering :

Is it a good idea to send their BF a “raunchy” pic of themselves?

If you have been following the Red Flag Man Blog, you will guess the answer I would give to that one!

It’s a Resounding NO!!

It is always a bad idea to send naked pics of yourself, never mind “raunchy” naked pics, to a man (or  anyone else for that matter).

Suggestive, alluring, sexy pics which do not reveal too much skin the best way to go!

When to send such pics?

If you two are in a long distance situation, it’s a nice idea to very occasionally send your guy the gift of a tasteful, alluring, sexy pic of yourself- One that does not reveal  any private body parts but has just the suggestion of what’s under wraps and waiting for him.

To the wife or girlfriend whose guy is far away for a period of time, do send him a pretty, tasteful , sexy pic of yourself with just the hint of what he is missing.

This is not a good idea if you and your BF are seeing each other on a regular basis because it comes off as very pushy, needy and overly flirtatious. 

Remember, I want you always ever so slightly aloof and unobtainable, not grabby, needy and overly available. Not coming on too strong!

Whats wrong with sending overtly sexual “raunchy” photos?

He will enjoy them right?

The answer is yes he will enjoy them, and he will also get bored with you, and  lose all respect and interest in you!

Men want to be attracted enough to enjoy the challenge you present and they want to pursue and conquer you. They do not want to read the last chapter of the book before they start the first page.

Follow me and ask questions on Tumblr:
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/redflagman

Stay classy!

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Strong Women Shoulder On!






Ladies, don’t let any man get you down in the dumps!

Remember, with hindsight you will see that the man you thought you wanted to be with, was never the right one for you anyway.

No depressions please!
No staying in bed for days!
No endlessly analyzing:
 What happened?
 What went wrong?
 What you did wrong?

None of that behavior! 

It’s a waste of precious time and energy.

No planning revenge.
No “accidently “showing up where you know he will be.
No trying to change his mind!!
No stalking on Facebook!!

You don’t have time for all that

You are too busy with your full, interesting and busy life, even if that means you are home watching Netflix!

Toss your hair over your shoulder and shoulder on!

Never look back!

Put on a smile, get out there and make eye contact with the men you pass by on the street, in class, when you are shopping…

 Allow yourself to connect to your inner vixen and Never Forget -
 Things can change in a heartbeat!
 Any minute, Mr. Right will enter your world.!

Your job is to be ready for him by being open minded, available, sweet and feminine.

That’s it!
Go for it!
Follow me on Tumblr, ask questions, I will answer and always try to help:
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/redflagman

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Wait and See if He Is Your BF



Is he calling you daily?
Is he asking you out at least once a week?
Is he making you a priority in his life?

If yes to all 3, then you have got yourself a boyfriend

But if not, stop stressing
 Stop questioning the “relationship”

If he isn’t doing all of the above, then he is not your boyfriend and you do not need to be concerning yourself with going out of your way to please or impress him

You don’t have to let him know you like him

You don’t have to:
 call him
 text him
 “accidentally” bump into him
 ask his friends about him
  travel to his location to visit him,
 be with him, or live with him

Only when a man has invested his time, energy, money and emotions into you, and has made it crystal clear that he is into you and wants and even needs to be with you, do you have yourself a boyfriend.

If he is still hanging with his ex
If he is too “busy” to spend time with you
If he doesn’t call you EVERY DAY
If he prefers to hang out with his friends, his family or alone
HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND

Do not make any sacrifices for him nor go to any expense or effort for him
Just live your life, hang with your friends and family
Do your thing
Be independent!
Focus on school or career
Focus on your friends and your family
If he likes you
If he is THE ONE
He will show it

Follow me on Tumblr at:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/redflagman

am happy to answer your questions!

Sunday, April 29, 2018

The Man You Are Meant to Be With Will WANT TO Give and Do For You!


                                                                                                                                                                     
If you are wracking your brains trying to figure out how to get your guy to notice you, want to be with you, pay attention to you and/or commit to you, then:
 You are involved with the WRONG man.

The RIGHT man is the man who cannot get enough of you and who wants to love, protect and provide for you.

The RIGHT man for you is also available. He is NOT dating or married to another woman.

If he is living with you, and not covering all of, or at least 50% of the household expenses, then you are with the WRONG man (and no – please don’t send me justifications or exceptions)

If he is fine with distance, infrequent get-togethers, inertia in the relationship, absence of romance, absence of plans for a future,  then guess what!?

He is the WRONG guy for you.

Do not enable the behavior that is driving you nuts. 

You are entitled to way more and if you refuse to believe this simple message, then your circumstances will never change.

Only when you project independence, self-confidence, and a sense of entitlement to his love, consideration and desire for you, will he begin to  notice you and will man up and play his role the way it is meant to be played.

 As long as you accept crumbs instead of the whole delicious cookie, then you will attract and keep a man who will give you crumbs and that man is not the right one for you.

The key is not in trying to figure out how to motivate or catch him. The key is to be a woman that is irresistible because she has her act together, is enjoying her life and is projecting happiness and confidence.

 It is your special aura that will draw Mr. Right to you.
 It is not games and manipulations.
I am always happy to answer your questions and you can follow me and also submit your questions on Tumblr:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/redflagman