Sunday, August 12, 2018

What to Do if You get Downgraded to FRIEND?


Any time a man changes your status from lover to friend, its time to get yourself OUT of the relationship pronto!

Remember, this is a rejection of you as someone he is sexually attracted to!
 It is a down grade of your relationship status and it is an insult.

Why would you hang on and accept this?

Women must at all times project self worth.

By accepting whatever terms he says he wants, just to cling to a man at some level, any level, communicates the message that you are desperate to be connected to him, and will settle for whatever relationship crumbs he has to offer you.

If you are looking for an exclusive monogamous loving relationship, then you must keep that goal in sight at all times and do not accept or waste time on anything that does not match up to that goal.

You do not have to exhaust your limited emotional energy reserves, by engaging in “friend” interactions with a man with whom you have had, or want to have, a romantic loving relationship with, but who does not at present want that with you any more. This is a drain on the energy needed to focus on getting out there, looking and feeling your best, and connecting with men who ARE interested in you romantically.

Do NOT waste time analyzing his inner thoughts and motives and trying to project what possible beneficial outcome might ultimately result by staying friends with a man that you love and want more with.

In fact, the one and only motivation for such a man to re- kindle his lost sexual attraction to you, is for him to feel that he may lose you

If  and when he realizes that you have moved on, and that other men are interested in you, a sense of urgency may kick in, and he might just reevaluate his feelings towards you.

In general, a woman who hangs around waiting and hoping for friendly feelings to morph into romantic feelings, is wasting her valuable time.

Any woman who is with a man who is dragging his feet about commitment, month after month, year after year, is also wasting her time, big time!

The hunter/ gatherer instinct that each and every male possesses in his DNA from time immemorial, is lulled into complacency by that which is easy to come by.
 The male wants and needs a challenge. 

The male wants and needs to work for his target (you).
 He enjoys his reward only if he has had to strive to achieve it!

It is the elusive Doe peeking from behind the bramble that gets his attention, and not the road kill lying there for the taking on his street!

You want your man to feel a sense of urgency! 
You want him to feel that you are valuable and desirable, and that if he doesn’t step up his game, then you will be snapped up by some other lucky dude.

So please don’t serve yourself up on a platter to any man by being overly available, accepting terms for a relationship that don’t suit you, accepting any bad or thoughtless behaviors, or accepting no commitment from him if at least 6 months has elapsed since you began dating.

Listen to his words
If he tells you he is not ready or that he wants to be friends, get your game on, and get out of there! 


Throw a smile on your face, (you may have to “Fake it till you make it”) and make yourself available to the many worthy loving men out there in the world just waiting to meet you.

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4 comments:

  1. I met my ex four years ago he had just got out of a brutal divorce after 30 yrs and she really did a number on him. He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship but then he said he was falling a few weeks later he asks me to come to his home in texas i met his children and his young grandchildren everything was beautiful our chemistry in every aspect of the relationship just flowed like a gentle breeze, he asked started talking future plans and then bam we was moving to fast he was unsure that i should go back home. Well i dida. And now a year later he texts me out of the blue falling all over himself confessing his love and how stupid he was for getting cold feet and didn't want to admit he was in love. Now he wants me to quit my job and move to Texas and hinting around that he bought a engagement ring he hasn't been back a month? Do you think he is real or playing games with me again i can't sleep with this uncertainty and dont want to look stupid for quitting my job

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    Replies
    1. Hi.
      Here is my opinion.
      When you met your ex he was on the rebound. He filled the void left by his divorce with your new relationship. He was wise enough to realize that he was on the rebound and that it was way too soon to rush into another commitment.
      Now that a year has gone by he is remembering and reminicing about the relationship with you and would like to re visit it.
      You should NOT quit your job and you should NOT go to Texas!
      It is the job of the man to pursue the woman and not the oppposite! The man must work to get what he wants or guess what? He will NOT value it/you at all.
      So be smart. Tell him that you would like him to come to you. If he is serious he should come to you with an engagement ring and a wedding date. He should spend serious quality time with you in your area. If he cannot do so because of his job then he should commit to visiting you every weekend for serveral months before any commitment is made.
      If you go to Texas, and if you give up your job, without his having done his "work" to win you over, you are taking a HUGE risk and may very likely get dumped again.

      Delete
  2. What if you are told that u need to work on yourself and that they are seperated for now and they have their bf (opposite gender)come get their things to take and store for them. And during the seperation they are now friends with benefits. And one partner still calls the other everyday

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  3. If you read the blog then you know the answer
    MOVE ON

    ReplyDelete