WHEN IS A FRIEND NOT A FRIEND?

We have all been there. Post break- up your ex suggests remaining "friends"Next thing you know, a steady stream of texts, email jokes, and even phone calls from Mr. Ex.

No, he isnt calling you to ask you out or to tell you what a fool he was to let you go. He just wants to Shmooze.

Since the standard definition of a friend is one upon whom you can depend, one whom you trust, one who takes your concerns and feelings seriously and would never knowingly hurt you, how can your ex be a friend, and what purpose does this "friendship" serve you or him, post break- up?

Often a man with commitment issues cannot commit to NO or to YES. He cannot move forward towards commitment, but neither does he want to completely  sever his ties to  you. Much better to keep his options open. Much more convenient to have you on a back burner. Having you in his life, albeit in a different mode, is a source of comfort to him and allows him to never have to feel the void of your absence. He can still enjoy your sense of humor, your advice, your insights and your concern.

I don't recommend this "friendship" at all.

It would be mighty hard to move forward and to nurture a new, healthier relationship into being, whilst shmoozing with the ex who broke your heart, who perhaps pushed you aside for someone else, who was unable to commit to you, cheated, lied, abused or neglected you.

Post break up, it is best to politely decline the friendship offer, Your real friends are the ones who tried to keep you positive and upbeat while Mr. Ex was hurting and disappointing you.

So please don't feel guilty when you say NO to the post break- up friend offer.

Cut all ties to an ex who hurt you and carry on towards Mr. Right!