Women are care takers by nature.
They want to nurture, show love and do thoughtful things for the people they love.
HOWEVER, before engagement and marriage, it is not a good idea to be too giving, do too much, be too available or show that you care too much.
Is this cruel?
NO!
In order to attract and keep the man she is crazy about, a woman must stay in her feminine zone.
In the feminine zone a woman is the receiver of attention, gifts and affection and she is looking to the man to suggest and make the dates and plans for them as a couple.
She is busy and happy with her own life, is not available every minute, and is also not an open book spilling her guts over every detail of her life.
She does not regale her man with the nifty gritty of her past struggles and she is never a “Debbie Downer”. Rather she is happy and upbeat and preoccupied with all of the fun and magical things she has going on in her own life.
A woman should not buy gifts, send love notes, arrange theater tickets, or suggest dates with the man she is seeing.
All of that is the domain of the male.
It is he who must drive the relationship forward and it is he who, in his effort to win her heart, must think of how to demonstrate his desire for her.
HE is the one who should be dreaming up fun dates, buying her thoughtful gifts and cards and basically “working” to attract her, and to earn her love.
If you have been mistakenly taking on this male role because you have not been reading this blog, and you find yourself in a lop-sided relationship where your guy is becoming lazy and complacent, basically taking you for granted,
THEN ITS TIME TO MAKE A BIG CHANGE!
If he is showing less affection and attention towards you, it is not too late to re- calibrate the relationship and get it onto the right tract.
You just need determination and motivation to do so.
Your job is not to keep showing him how much you care and how interested in him you are or how committed to this relationship you are. If you do make the mistake of doing these things you will see that he will pull back,
be way less inclined to get together, will not spend money or time (ie: (invest) in the relationship, and he will ultimately find you boring and will move on!
Why?
Because men are wired from time immemorial to go after what they want and what they want is a CHALLENGE!
They only value what they have had to work to achieve or to get.
Women who do too much work in a dating relationship are BORING to a man. It is perceived as your pursuit of him. If you are pursuing him, why does he have to strive to impress you ? He already won you over through no effort of his own! Now that he has you… where’s the excitement?
Where is the challenge a man craves?
Our ancestral forefathers had to go out and hunt and gather in order to sustain themselves and their families. It is in their nature to love the “hunt” and the challenge of working to get the woman they are attracted to.
If you take away the need for this pursuit, you become dull and uninteresting to your man.
So how do you let him know you care?
By accepting many ( but not all) of his invitations, by reciprocating affection, by making eye contact and smiling and being happy to see him.
Show appreciation when he does something big or small for you.
Just don’t overdo it!
You should cultivate a sense of entitlement to his efforts to please you because you are a great person with a full and interesting life that any man would be lucky to have.
Don’t really believe that about yourself?
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT !
Treat yourself as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow he has been chasing his whole life.
It’s the one and only way to attract and keep a good man.
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ReplyDeleteHello! Yes, we moved in way too quickly. He does, invest quite a bit of money into me, but that is all. I do absolutely everything, from all the work in bed, i help his business, i am emotionally available, all the time. Its been close to a year. He used to discuss a future together, however, no longer does. I do 90 percent of the work in relationship. Can i change this, or should i move on? Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThe blog post tells you exactly what will happen if you do more than you should, and also how to fix the situation before he ends up getting bored and moving on.
DeleteMy advice to you is to move out.
If you do not have an engagement ring and a wedding date- no living together. You have allowed yourself to become his sex slave!
You must project self worth by having legitimate expectations from the relationship.
Good luck!
Right On Emari!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you truly get it and are doing great!