Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Why its BAD to Do and Care Too Much




Women are care takers by nature. 

They want to nurture, show love and do thoughtful things for the people they love.
HOWEVER, before engagement and marriage, it is not a good idea to be too giving, do too much, be too available or show that you care too much.
Is this cruel?
NO!
In order to attract and keep the man she is crazy about, a woman must stay in her feminine zone.
In the feminine zone  a woman is the receiver of attention, gifts and affection and she is looking to the man to suggest and make the dates and plans for them as a couple.

She is busy and happy with her own life, is not available every minute, and is also not an open book spilling her guts over every detail of her life. 
She does not regale her man with the nifty gritty of her past struggles and she is never a “Debbie Downer”. Rather she is happy and upbeat and preoccupied with all of the fun and magical things she has going on in her own life.

A woman should not buy gifts, send love notes, arrange theater tickets, or suggest dates with the man she is seeing.
 All of that is the domain of the male.

It is he who must drive the relationship forward and it is he who, in his effort to win her heart, must think of how to demonstrate his desire for her.
 HE is the one who should be dreaming up fun dates, buying her thoughtful gifts and cards and basically “working” to attract her, and to earn her love.

If you have been mistakenly taking on this male role because you have not been reading this blog, and you find yourself in a lop-sided relationship where your guy is becoming lazy and complacent, basically taking you for granted,

THEN ITS TIME TO MAKE A BIG CHANGE!

If he is showing less affection and attention towards you, it is not too late to re- calibrate the relationship and get it onto the right tract.
You just need determination and motivation to do so.

Your job is not to keep showing him how much you care and how interested in him you are or how committed to this relationship you are. If you do make the mistake of  doing these things you will see that he will pull back, 
 be way less inclined to get together, will not spend money or time (ie: (invest) in the relationship, and he will ultimately find you boring and will move on!

Why?

Because men are wired from time immemorial to go after what they want and what they want is a CHALLENGE!

They only value what they have had to work to achieve or to get.

Women who do too much work in a dating relationship are BORING to a man. It is perceived as your pursuit of him. If you are pursuing him, why does he have to strive to impress you ? He already won you over through no effort of his own! Now that he has you… where’s the excitement? 
Where is the challenge a man craves?

Our ancestral forefathers had to go out and hunt and gather in order to sustain themselves and their families. It is in their nature to love the “hunt” and the challenge of working to get the woman they are attracted to. 
If you take away the need for this pursuit, you become dull and uninteresting to your man.

So how do you let him know you care?

By accepting many ( but not all) of his invitations, by reciprocating affection,  by making eye contact and smiling and being happy to see him.
Show appreciation when he does something big or small for you. 
 Just don’t overdo it!

You should cultivate a sense of entitlement to his efforts to please you because you are a great person with a full and interesting life that any man would be lucky to have.
Don’t really believe that about yourself?

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT !

Treat yourself as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow he has been chasing his whole life.

It’s the one and only way to attract and keep a good man.

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Friday, February 1, 2019

TMI Destroys your Allure! Stop Giving out Private Information!



Men tell me that when women reveal too many personal details about their private lives, former relationships, sexual escapades and childhood traumas, it is a HUGE turn off!

Men are attracted to women with a bit of mystery.

You should NOT  be an open book!

Please don’t spill your guts about how your last boyfriend abused you, or the steamy details of your intimate life. Don’t regale him with your relationship mishaps!!

 He will perceive you as a ship- wreck and trust me, he doesn’t want to be your life preserver.

Ladies, the man you have a crush on is not your friend. He is someone you are hoping to attract to you romantically.

Save the details of your old love stories for your girlfriends. A man doesn’t want to read the last page of the book before he starts it.

Let him learn about you little by little. Keep yourself every slightly out of his grasp emotionally as well as physically and let him work to earn the right to spend more and more time with you and to get to know you better and better.

Please don’t dump your dirty laundry on him!

 Be elusive :
 When will she be available to spend time with me?
Why can’t I keep her on the phone for as long as I like?
 Be mysterious :
 I wonder what it will be like to finally kiss her/ make love to her/ be her boyfriend?
  Was she affectionate with others as I fantasize she will be with me?

It is the desire of a man to desire you!

His desire is fueled by the attraction and then the slight frustration of never getting enough of you.

Nothing quells the fires of his desire for you faster than hearing about how you cried for days when your last boyfriend dumped you/stole money from you/lied to you/mistreated you.

YOU are the illusive, sought after princess that he would be lucky to win over and call his own.

Keep that in mind at all times my girls!
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Sunday, January 27, 2019

Why Not an "Open" or "Poly" Relationship?


Lately I have been getting emails from women reporting that they have been in “open” and or  “poly” relationships, and now they want to know how to get the guy to commit to them and them alone!

The answer here is - It'S TOO LATE!

These type of relationships are unhealthy in my opinion, and can lead to low self esteem, loneliness and desperation.

A man is wired from time immemorial to go out there and hunt/gather and to father as many offspring as possible. He will happily hop from bed to bed until someone snares his heart.

A woman is wired to receive what her man brings and to create a home with it. 

She is wired to seek a stable male who will be a good provider for the children they will bring into the world, and she is wired to connect emotionally when she connects physically, which is nature’s way of ensuring an intact family unit will emerge.

Societal norms do change, but the wiring remains the same.

Therefore a woman can only end up miserable when she tries out love with multiple partners because she will invariably wind up loving and wanting monogamy from one of them.

Ladies, do not waste your time and your energy and your young years with “open” and “Poly” relationships! 

Love isn’t a sprint through an amusement park with different rides and games.

Love is about finding a partner to connect with and share a life with.

When you get yourself involved with multiple partners and treat sex as a sport, the man will go along for the ride and will have a great time for sure! 
 However you will end up sad and lonely and wondering why he is not content with focusing solely on you?

And the answer is, because you allowed your body to be just another option.

He never had to work to win you over.

As I have pointed out over and over in my blog, a man values that which he has had to work hard to acquire.

 A women handed to him on a silver platter is of no value to him and winds up cast aside for a “real” challenge.

Wise up girls!