What about Dating a MUCH Younger man?
A woman wrote in recently, asking me advice about her new
relationship with a man 20 years her junior, which gave me food for thought.
We
really haven’t addressed this topic in the Red Flag Man blog yet .. so here we go!
Does it make sense to date a MUCH younger guy?
My belief is that if a man is more than 10 years younger, it’s
a NO WIN situation, and even at ten years of age younger than you…you are pressing your luck.
WHY?
Men are visual creatures who are attracted first and
foremost to the look of a possible partner, and afterwards, if he is attracted,
he looks deeper into the fabric of the woman he is attracted to.
If a man has a partner who is 12, 15, 20 years older than
himself, the odds are stacked against them that he will continue to find her
physically attractive (even if she is a very pretty woman) as the years go by.
Additionally, in the
case of this relationship dynamic, he may
have some psychological issue going on.
Perhaps he has a need for a “Mommy figure” because his own
mom was absent, distant, unloving, or rejecting, and he now seeks to fill that
void (on a subconscious level ),by connecting with a much older woman.
Perhaps he is a Dependent Personality type (HELP!) who will
latch onto an established older woman and expect her to provide for him
emotionally as well as physically, by housing him, paying his way, etc.
And of course, another
risk is that a man in his 30’s or 40’s or 50’s will eventually take note of his
contemporaries’ partners, who are most likely in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. He
will then look at his own partner who, if she is around 20 years or so older
than him, will one day look more like his mom than his partner, and eventually
lose interest in her physically, even if he is able to maintain interest in her
friendship.
Is that a risk we need to take? NO.
Are there exceptions to this?
Maybe…
The late actress Mary Tyler Moore was married to a man 15 years her junior who faithfully
stayed by her side for 33 years until her death at age 80.
Nevertheless, if you ask my opinion if it is a good idea to
hold high hopes for this type of relationship, my answer would be NO GO!
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Feel free to ask me whatever! I will always try my best to help!
