Long Distance Romance - Is He Showing Up Enough?

Struggling to sustain a long distance romance?

It can be frustrating to face lonely days and nights alone, while in an exclusive long distance romantic relationship.

It’s a bummer to attend social events solo.

Its rough to see that empty pillow next to you in bed night after night and week after week.

What makes it easier  to bear, is being able to look forward to the next scheduled visit,  knowing when you two will see each other next, and hopefully, it should never be more than 3 weeks in the future.

It takes great effort on the part of both people in the relationship, to maintain the momentum and spark, by making sure that more than 3 weeks doesn’t go by without one of you visiting the other.

(Of course I am not talking about a partner serving in the military for an extended period of time. I am talking only about dating couples who live a great distance apart and who have the freedom to hop on a plane to see their sweetheart.)

Its also impossible to really get to know someone without the daily interaction that only frequent proximity can offer.

In the meantime, there should be frequent text, calls and Video chatting.

If a man has asked you to be exclusive, but isn’t making the effort to visit you with enough frequency, then we have to question if this is a sustainable relationship?

Carving out time to visit his lady should be his number 1 priority.

If for some reason he can’t get away, then he should be offering to fly you in to spend a long weekend with him.

If he is neither coming to see you, nor arranging for you to go see him, then -

Houston, We Have a Problem!

The man who is not making these visits his #1 priority is either:

Trying to Control you while he explores his options

Actively seeing other women

Not that crazy about you

If the weeks are slipping by and you are speaking to your boyfriend each night and hearing “I love you” from him, but he is cool to not actually see you, touch you, hold you and kiss you for the next 8 weeks, then something is off.

If a vase of flowers is delivered to your door on your birthday, but he is hanging out at his place 1200 miles away when he could have spent your birthday with you, then you should be questioning the quality of the relationship as well as just how invested in your future he really is.

Lets face the truth.

A man who loves a woman will move heaven and earth to be with her.

Don’t settle for less than that.

If he isn’t making regular plans to see you each month, don’t  try to convince him, don’t beg and don’t plead with him.

Instead, realize that he just isn’t that into you and move on girl.

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See ya next week!

Pursuit is The Man's Role, NOT Yours!

Ladies! The best thing you can do to spark and motivate the man you are interested in is….

NOTHING!

As I have mentioned in my Blog, The Red Flag Man, many times, a man is wired to go out and to acquire.

 His DNA, since Neanderthal times, is that of a HUNTER/GATHERER, and that wiring hasn’t changed a bit, even with the advent of modern conveniences such as salad bars, shavers and cell phones. 

In cave -man days the man went out to forage, to hunt and to bring home  and savor what he worked hard to get.

To this day a man (and all of us really) most respect what we worked hard to get.

If we get something too easily do we really value it? 

NO.

If we scrimp and save for that $1000 bag we love, we will treasure it and carefully place it in a place of honor on our closet shelf. We will wear it with pride and beam with pleasure as we see ourselves in the mirror with our lovely and hard -to- acquire acquisition. 

If however we got it on sale for $50, we aren’t so careful or so prideful. It may end up tossed in the closet or even on the floor, discarded and forgotten.

A man, even more than a woman, needs to feel that he got the big prize when he chooses his woman!

When  a women does the man’s relationship work for him, his knee jerk response is to pull back and then to lose interest. 

Why is that?

The man cannot value a woman who signals to him that she is eager to be with him and easy to acquire.

Therefore the worst thing a woman can do if she is trying to spark the interest of a man is to call him, text him, suggest get togethers  to him, “accidentally” show up where he is at, or make herself too available and behave as if she is too interested.

That behavior will backfire every time. 

Yes, he may take you up on an invite or suggestion once or twice, if he is bored and has nothing better to do, but rest assured, he will lose interest if you hand yourself to him on  a silver platter. 

Instead, keep busy with your life and distract yourself from the goal of winning him over.

Let him work to win YOU over and reap the rewards of a man who values the lady he had to jump through hoops to be with.

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