Red Flag Man is because I want to teach women how to recognize the type of issues, situations and problems that cannot or almost never can result in a happy ending.
The message is that if certain situations, issues or problems exist,
do not fantasize that you can fix or overcome them through your love.
One of the common issues that I am seeing these days is the issue of the long distance relationship.
If you are cultivating a relationship with a person who lives overseas, and you are not able to see that person and spend time together in his environment on a regular basis, this constitutes a major Red Flag.
In particular, if you are an American talking to a non American - BEWARE.
There is no way that you can get a grasp of the full picture of the person you are talking to, his life style, his situation, his relationships, his family dynamics, or any thing at all, if he lives across the ocean.
"Melissa" was talking to "Steve" for months.
He lives in Australia. She lives in L.A.
They met up a couple of times at in - between locations and spent quality time getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company.
Most of the time the relationship was being cultivated via their daily communications on the phone.
They developed an intensity and a sense of urgency to sort things out so that they could be engaged and married ASAP.
Melissa had a great job and a beautiful apartment in LA.
She planned to retire in a couple of years and enjoy a nice juicy pension.
Steve lived in an apartment with a room mate. His job was not as stable as Melissa's.
Steve suggested that they plan to live in Melbourne and that Melissa contribute her monthly pension to their living expenses.
Melissa was excited and happy to have found a loving partner who promised commitment and marriage. She was excited about the idea of living in an exotic new location.
Melissa's closest friends saw the Red Flags in the situation. They spoke to her about it, risking her ire, in an effort to protect her.
Why would she be willing to give up her job and home and life in the USA for someone who needed her to replace his room mate and allocate her pension to their living expenses?
Plus, she would not be able to legally work in Melbourne, meaning she would be entirely dependent on Steve, not to mention thousands of miles away from her support group of family and friends.
These warnings fell on deaf ears.
As things progressed, the plan was for Melissa to travel to Melbourne to get engaged to Steve.
In preparation, she gave up her apartment and moved in with her mom.
Luckily, she did not give up her job.
Shortly after arriving in Melbourne Melissa discovered the awful shocking truth.
Steve had another woman in his life with whom he had been carrying on for most of the duration of his "relationship" with Melissa!
When confronted, he said he was conflicted because he loved them both.
The moral of the story is clear.
1.You cannot fully know a person and his circumstances while dating from a big distance.
2. The people who know and love and worry about you should not be dismissed when they attempt to warn you away from a situation.
Love can be blind to reality.
Stay away from Red Flag situations.
