Spy on Your Guy? - Don't Bother to Try!

If your instinct is to reach for your guy’s cell phone when he is out of the room, to check and see who is has been texting, who he has called, and who has called him, then the relationship is carrying a huge RED FLAG!

You should never ever feel a hint of doubt about where your guy’s loyalties lie, and if you do- then he isn’t the one for you!

If your guy is giving you mixed messages by being affectionate and attentive one minute, and then distant and unresponsive another minute, you may quite rightly harbor doubts about what he is doing and thinking. You may feel inclined to “spy” on him or  “stalk” him a bit.

 That behavior is needy, clingy and a huge turn off!

 Avoid the temptation to behave like that!

Trust me when I tell you that this is a very unhealthy dynamic.

If you have any reason at all to doubt your boyfriend’s loyalty towards you then please pull back now. 

Pull way way back. 

That means NO texting him. NO calling him. NO emailing him.

 It means that when he calls you, DO NOT always answer and do not immediately respond to his texts.

If he is into you he will take the cue that you are less available and less interested and he will come forward and pursue you with all of his wonderful male energy. 

But if in fact he is less interested than before, he will be relieved to feel you are in his orbit less. 

This is the best and only way to find out where you stand, short of confronting him - which also makes you appear suspicious, insecure and needy.

If you feel the need to spy on your guy, distance is the route you must try!

Sign up here to receive my Blog Free each week and watch out for my upcoming book, RED FLAG MAN

Like me on Facebook at Brenda Sassoon House & Heart

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER! DON'T DATE ANOTHER WOMAN'S HUSBAND!

Today I will state the Obvious.

DON'T date a MARRIED MAN!

Why is it that it is a turn off when we hear that a man is still living in his parents house?

Maybe he is a young man who is temporarily living at home while he saves money for the house or apartment of his dreams.

Why is it not a turn off to you that a man is coming on to you, but going home to his wife each night?

If a man is heading home to his wife at the end of your date, cut bait and move on right now!

You must respect your self enough to realize that you deserve to be more to a man than a dalliance.

More than a distraction entertaining another woman's bored husband.

You actually deserve a man who is so into you that he is planning a future with you. 

A REAL future, not just your next hook up.

No matter what a man says about how  unhappy he is in his marriage, how horrible his wife is, how difficult or impossible it would be to divorce her, if you are settling for dating another woman's husband than you are displaying a terribly low level of self-esteem as well as poor judgement.

Is he married but separated?
Are the divorce papers filed?
Has he given you a date by which time he will be free?

None of the above is great, but at least there may be potential for a future with a man who can honestly say those things, however, if you are in the arms of a married man who leaves you and returns to the home he shares with his wife- GET OUTTA THERE NOW!

We don't wast precious time. The time it takes to forge a relationship that can result in the life you want.

 It is a process.

The building blocks that forge a real relationship are built with shared experiences over a period of weeks and months. Unless you want the empty life of a mistress with no prospect of her own husband and home life, without respect, without her own family and her own place in society as a wife/mother, don't waste precious time servicing the needs of a married man.

Why sacrifice your own needs and wants just to be a "fidget spinner" for some unhappy or bored married man?

Even if you are having a dry spell in your dating life, finding it difficult out there, do not close off your options and do not lower your standards by having an affair with a married man who will never be your husband.

We date to marry.

Realize that if you have chosen to be in a relationship with another woman's husband, that you are a person with serious issues and you require therapy to help you gain an awareness of the issues that cause you to settle for the crumbs of life rather than going for the Trophy,

Your job is to cut bait with the married guy and head on over to the therapist.

Look out for my upcoming book RED FLAG MAN and follow my weekly blog here, for free, by email, by subscribing here.